#108: Writing Through Anxiety

This question came from the priority request queue for my Patreon patrons. Thanks for your support, letter writer!

Hi,

I used to want to be a writer very badly. It was my childhood dream and my direction in life, etc etc. I never wrote as much as I felt I should have for the ‘title’ of writer, but I wrote poetry, short stories and started terrible novels.

During my time at university, I gave a few stories to a guy I was hoping would become a mentor, or at least some kind of writing peer. He basically ignored them, and after seeing me on campus one time after that said he assumed we would never run into each other again.

My confidence was severely knocked by this, and I decided to basically just concentrate on poetry. I struggled a lot with worrying my poetry was hackneyed, ‘too American’ as one of the people in my uni’s poetry society would have said (she assumed that certain ways of writing poetry, like in more of a slam style, was always affected, as we are British and it’s not our tradition or something?), and just generally not as good as I would have liked. I quickly shelved that too. I’ve lost the majority of my writing from that period, so I have little to check to see if I still feel it’s all terrible.

I realise reading this back I have issues with negative criticism. I had received more positive (or neutral to be honest) feedback than bad about my work up until the points I stopped writing, I just discounted it. Usually my reader wasn’t a writer/editor, or I assumed they were being kind.

I’ve recently begun writing again, trying to do five hundred words a day in a low pressure, write-whatever-feels-good kind of way. I’m writing non-fiction pieces about my life, some article style, some more memoir, and it feels good to write again. The idea of writing a story or poem though makes me feel panicked and like I’m “not ready”, and that everything I write is going to be awful.

I know that writing the terrible words is the only way to get to the good ones intellectually. Translating that into action and pushing through the emotional discomfort is proving really difficult.

How can I get comfortable – or at least not doubled over in emotional pain – with writing creatively again? Is this something I should expect to be able to do again or is this just me discovering I should write non-fiction? And also, how do I stop being so hampered by negative criticism?

Thanks so much for reading this, I really appreciate this blog!

—Writing Again (they/them)

Dear Writing Again,

Your letter reminds me a lot of #106, Writing Through Depression, except that it sounds like what you’re dealing with is a pile of anxiety (perhaps in addition to depression). It’s both undermined your ability to gauge the quality of your own work and made it very difficult for you to accept quality judgments from others: any compliment is minimized and any critique is magnified. Even the absence of meaningful communication, as with the guy who gave your stories to who then blew you off, is interpreted in the worst possible way. And you already assume that any words you write are going to be “terrible” and “awful”.

Continue reading

#107: How to Write Gripping Headlines

Dear Story Nurse,

It’s a small thing, but I need help understanding how to create compelling titles.

I’ve found a job writing articles and it pays me enough to make a living. Writing as paying gig is a new development for me; until recently, I’d really only written fiction as a private and unpaid hobby. Yet now I’m reporting on local government actions, generating updates on research projects in our area, and crafting biographies on notable residents.

It’s terrifying that I’m actually doing this and also amazing. My editor/boss has helped with the structure and flow of my articles, but I still have some anxiety about my abilities, particularly when it comes to crafting compelling (and concise) titles. I know that I will not lose my job over it, but my ineptitude in this area creates a lot of noise in my head regarding my skills. That head noise puts me on edge, making it difficult to get out of my own way and do my job.

I’ve written and rewritten titles as a writing exercise. It can take me an hour to get something mediocre; my boss can create one in ten seconds. To be fair to myself, he has been doing this years longer than I have. But I don’t have an hour to spare for every article.

Is there a titling manual I missed somewhere? Am I (or my anxiety) making this too difficult? Are there less formulaic exercises I can do? Do you know of a different approach other than rewriting the same thing over and over? An internet search points me to sites relying on formulas. My editor can’t describe his title creating process other than ‘just say what it is without giving it all away’ but also to be interesting while doing so.

For further clarity, my editor prefers titles that give a hint without telling the whole story. The title can be as few as two words and usually no more than eight. Subtitles can be up to another eight to nine words.

Thank you.

—New Here (she/her)

Dear New Here,

I’m guessing from your single quotes that you’re not in the U.S., and perhaps that’s why you’re using title where I would say headline. If you’re writing articles reporting on news, they need headlines (and subheds—yes, that spelling is correct). Your searches for information on writing good headlines may be more fruitful just with this change in terminology.

Continue reading

GYWO: Why Every Writer Needs a Style Guide

GYWO is Get Your Words Out, a wonderful writing accountability community. I joined this year and I’m really enjoying it. I wrote this post for the GYWO community, and the moderators have kindly allowed me to mirror it on Story Hospital. My previous GYWO post was on how to write when you don’t want to.

I’ve done a great many things in and around publishing, and one tool that crosses over a lot of different disciplines is the style guide. Ideally a style guide will begin with the writer and carry through all the way to production. When you’re doing the sort of publication that involves a manuscript being passed from writer to agent to editor to copyeditor to designer to proofreader, it’s a really valuable tool for communication of vital information to someone you may never interact with directly. Even if you’re doing the entirety of writing, design, and publication yourself, you’ll want one to keep yourself on track and to share with your editor. In brief, it’s a way of saying “I did it this way on purpose.”

Continue reading

#106: Writing Through Depression

Content note: This letter and post discuss depression and negative self-talk.

Hey Story Nurse

So I’m like a sad human with Heaps of mental health problems (anxiety, depression and a bunch of less relevant stuff) and I write fanfiction off and on depending on my mood and what I’m watching.

I also sort of write original fiction, but I never even get close to finishing anything. I really want to write some things that work best in long form (like person goes “undercover” as a boy and realizes like halfway through he’s trans is the one I’m working on right now). But I haven’t done anything with it because I know I’m not going to finish it. The only thing I ever finish are short fics. So what I’ve been doing is trying to write progressively longer and longer fics to kind of get a feel for longer writing and to prove to myself that I can finish things.

However, I just started a fic that was supposed to be like up to twenty chapters long, which retrospectively is about 75% longer than anything I’d done before, but I thought it would be better cause I had it all planned out. I was super wrong. I finished three chapters and tossed it because I hate it now, like the whole premise and everything it just felt super flat. And now I feel like I can’t finish anything. Like I haven’t even been able to Try to write like anything at all (original or fic) because I feel like I’m not going to finish it and there’s no point. It’s really frustrating because I really love looking at and rereading things I /have/ finished.

I really wanna write original stuff because I have soooo many ideas, but it feels like as soon as I try nothing works right. The plot is bad, I can’t figure out how to get scenes to work together or the writing just feels flat and I lose interest super quickly. It’s super depressing and now it’s leeched into my fanfic too. :c

Please help.

—Sad Space Gay (they/them)

Dear Sad Space Gay,

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. It sounds like your depression is really doing a number on you. It’s really awesome that you’ve fought through that to reach out for help, and I hope you recognize what an amazing act of self-care and determination and bravery that was. Your depression doesn’t own you. If you found a way to write to me, you can find ways to do other good things for yourself, including writing.

Depression is clearly putting a distorting filter between you and your writing and making it very hard for you to accurately judge the quality or potential of your ideas and your work. I can’t treat your depression, and I hope that you’re working with skilled, compassionate professionals who can. What I can do is give you some ways to recognize, mitigate, and bypass the filter.

Important caveat: Some of these techniques will work for some people some of the time. Nothing works for everyone all of the time. Depression is a clever beast and it adapts. It also comes and goes. Something that feels easy or useful one day may be impossible or counterproductive the next. If trying any of these techniques feels bad or harmful to you, stop doing it. Only you can assess what works for you. I’m a professional in the field of writing, not in the field of mental health; I’m not prescribing anything, only making recommendations for writing techniques. If you’re at all uncertain about how or whether to proceed with any of this advice, talk it over with the people who are directly supporting your mental health. Continue reading