#46: Guest Post: Ownvoices Advice for Autistic Writers

Hi,

I was diagnosed with autism two years ago at the age of 22. It explained a lot of problems with social skills I’ve always had. My problem is that I really want to be a writer, and I’m scared being autistic will get in the way of that. I read and write literary fiction, and there seems to be an assumption that if autistic people are interested in reading at all, it’s science fiction. I don’t know of any famous writers who were autistic and a lot of their lives are described like ‘He was the life of the party and would go out drinking with his friends in Paris until dawn’. I couldn’t ever do that.

I’ve won one writing competition and been highly commended in another and published several short stories. Before I got the diagnosis, I never doubted that if I worked hard, I could write and publish a novel. I’m currently writing a contemporary literary novel that’s partially autobiographical, although the heroine isn’t autistic. I’m about two thirds through the first draft.

I enjoy constructing sentences, but I’m scared that my characterisation will seem shallow and unconvincing. I sometimes have a hard time telling what other people are thinking or what’s socially expected of me, and I worry that also means I’m not getting into the characters’ heads a lot. I don’t ‘see’ the world through their eyes. A lot of the advice I’ve read for writers says ‘Ask yourself what your character is thinking and feeling at this point’, and sometimes I just have to shrug and say ‘I don’t know’.

The heroine’s actions, such as not speaking much, hanging back in social situations she doesn’t understand and not advocating for herself, are meant to show that she’s introverted and she’s been socialised to believe that girls should be passive and people-pleasing. But I’m worried she’s so much based on me that it spills over into her ‘acting autistic’, or acting in ways that don’t make sense to neurotypical readers. (I don’t want to change it to a novel about an autistic heroine, because that wouldn’t suit the story I’m telling, although I’d love to include an autistic main character in the next thing I write.)

You seem like you know a lot about writing and disability/ intersectionality issues, so my questions are: Can I be a good writer if I’m autistic? And do you have any ideas for working around the problems autism can cause to understand my characters better? Thank you!

—Autistic Wannabe Novelist (she/her)

Dear Autistic Wannabe Novelist,

I’m really honored that you trusted me to answer these questions. But I don’t think I’m the right person to give you an answer in depth, so I brought in two guest contributors, Corey Alexander (they/them) and Rose Lemberg (they/them). Both of them are published authors, wise teachers, and autistic. Their responses are below. I’m grateful to them for contributing their kind, thoughtful words to Story Hospital.

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#37: When Depression Stops You from Writing

This question came from the priority request queue for my Patreon patrons. Thanks for your support, letter writer!

Content note: this letter and the response talk in some detail about depression and strong self-critical thoughts.

Dear Story Nurse:

Over the course of many years, in fits and starts, I wrote a novel (actually two but the first was pretty bad!), got an agent, and got myself published last year. The reviews were positive, even the meanies at Kirkus, although I did not get any of those starred reviews that publishing houses seem to live and die by. But nobody was mean to me or anything. The sales were low, but those who did read it seemed to enjoy what I wrote. Some hated it, of course, but others really loved it and even took the time to let me know. The publisher declined the option on my next, but I have a wonderful agent who continues to support me wholeheartedly.

So. In that paragraph I can count roughly a half dozen events that many struggling writers would kill to have happen to them. There are, as Captain Sensible would say, many reasons to be cheerful. And yet I’m not. I feel like a failure.

I never deluded myself about bestsellers or Oprah’s book club or whathaveyou. I actually work in a different type of publishing for my day job, so I have a pretty realistic understanding of how difficult the business is. I had no illusions (or even desire, really) about supporting myself through fiction. And yet there’s this tremendous sense of disappointment and I don’t even know why. I mean, what did I expect? I expected what happened, more or less. And yet I feel like a fuck-up in some way I can’t even explain.

The real problem is that this depression (I guess that’s what it is?) is standing in the way of my ability to finish the next thing. I have two new books started. I have an agent who would love to have something else to sell. And yet I hate everything I write these days and find myself wondering about the point of it all.

What’s more, I’m totally embarrassed by the whole situation. I know that good books get ignored all the time. I know I have many more reasons to be grateful and proud than I do reasons to be unhappy. But knowing it doesn’t seem to help. I can’t seem to Stewart Smalley my way out of this one.

My question is, how do I stop being such a baby and get back to work?

—Captain Insensible (she/her)

Dear Captain Insensible,

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. I’m very glad you wrote in, because it means that you want to feel better, and wanting to feel better is a crucial first step toward getting better.

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#36: Excavating Internalized Biases

Dear Story Nurse,

I am a trans, gay boy and often write about trans and gay topics, but I often find that a lot of internalized transphobia and homophobia makes its way into my writing. I write poems and essays, and when writing them I always find these present, yet don’t know how to restructure my writing in a way that eliminates them.

Additionally, I am trying to come out to someone in a letter. While I realize that this website is not specifically about trans issues, I was wondering if you could help me figure out how to work up the courage to write a piece like this and how to make sure I do actually get to writing it.

Thank you!

—R.W. (he/him)

Dear R.W.,

It’s awesome that you’re tackling these things. I’ve had the same struggles with internalized transphobia in my own writing; being trans doesn’t protect us from breathing in transphobia along with the cultural air. Fortunately, there are some tactics we can use to filter out biases before they pollute our writing.

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#28: “Am I Busy or Avoidant?”

Dear Story Nurse,

I am in the midst of a year in which mostly-familial requirements on my time make it something like impossible for me to make my slow-but-steady former progress on my novel, for now. (I had chugged along to slightly over the halfway point.)

At least, I think so. The requirements on my time, energies, and attention are genuine, and the nature of the attention required results in my being bored, which for me doesn’t mix well with writing. But am I being avoidant, or is it really all The Year of Hockey and Real Estate?

—I serve the ice (they/them)

Today is the fifth Tuesday of the month, which means that my answer to this heartfelt letter is available exclusively to my Patreon patrons. If you’d like to see today’s post—and future fifth Tuesday posts—become a Story Hospital Patreon patron at any level, even just $1/month. If that’s not an option for you, enjoy reading through the archives and salivating with anticipation for next Tuesday’s column. I’ll be back before you know it.

Cheers,

Story Nurse

Got a writing question? Ask the Story Nurse!

#27: Ethics in Fiction Writing

This question came from the priority request queue for $2+ Patreon patrons. Thanks for your support, letter writer!

Dear Story Nurse,

Let’s say I made a boo-boo in one of my previous stories, and I handled a sensitive subject a bit badly. Not super badly, but I relied on overused tropes because I didn’t realize how overused (and damaging) they were. Now I know better, and I’m planning to write a sequel to the story where I messed up. Is there anything special I should do in the sequel to sort of “make up” for the mistake and build that trust back with my readership? Or should I just focus on not making it again?

Sincerely,

Really Very Sorry

Dear Really Very Sorry,

This is a very kind question. I’m glad you understood where critiques were coming from, took them to heart, and have been working on doing better. Those are the essential things you need to be doing, and to keep doing.

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Writers in a Dangerous Time

Dear friends,

I am committed to giving advice to any writer, anywhere, but today’s post is specifically for those of us in the U.S. and elsewhere who are deeply distressed by the thought of President Trump and deeply anxious about what comes next for the U.S. and the world. It’s a modified version of my post-election piece on goals and deadlines in a time of strong emotions. This one is more general, without the NaNo-specific content, and I hope it will be a post that you can come back to again and again.

As we face difficult times as creators of art, we will face a lot of pressure from different sides, and from within ourselves. We will be pressured to make art. We will be pressured to stop making art. We will be pressured to make different art, to be more radical or more moderate, to be commercial or to never sell out, to reach different audiences who are all in need of artistic sustenance. We will be pressured to depict the past, the present, and many possible futures.

Sometimes circumstances like these make it very easy to make art. Other times they make it very hard.

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NaNoWriMo: Goals and Deadlines in a Time of Strong Emotions

Dear friends,

It’s hard to write this post in a time of such strong feelings. Whatever your reaction to the results of the U.S. presidential election, the intense emotional atmosphere of the moment makes it difficult to face the blank page. Our thoughts are whirling, our hearts are pounding, and our bodies are feeling the effects of two tense days with insufficient food or rest (and, for some folks, a little too much alcohol).

And yet, I have my commitment to write posts for all of you, and you have your commitment to make your writing goals and meet your writing deadlines, whatever those may be.

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