Your feelings of envy are harming you by making it hard for you to achieve a degree of self-defined success that might lead to you feeling less envious.
Romantic tension is one of those things that's often better managed during revisions, because it's all about pacing.
Craft your HEA to fit your characters. Let them surprise you with the innovative solution they all come up with.
Characters take an approach of "How can we make this work for all of us?" rather than "It's too bad I have to choose one of you."